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(06-12-2021, 08:37 AM)AlumneyeJ93 Wrote: A little story, opposite situation of yours, as I can first hand relate to your diliemma. My wife had her dad and stepdad walk her down the aisle. It was the resolution to being black mailed by her father, piece of crap. He wouldn't help pay for anything and even threatened to not have any of his family attend. During our wedding meeting with them both the piece of crap asked my wife if she was going to wear a white dress at the wedding. Her an I had been living in an apartment together. To this day I have never forgiven that SOB for saying that.
What kind of dad says that to his daughter. I wanted to come across the table and kick his ass for that.
The father was the adulterer and abandoned my wife, her mom and brother. Her step father has been nothing but outstanding and I even work for him to this day. (Son in law job). I think he deserved to be the only one to walk her down the aisle. Initially, she was just going to have her brother do it to avoid the stress and problems but she is the most forgiving person on the planet and went with the two dad system.
Could it be the ex wife is driving this issue and not the daughter?
I hope you can find peace or acceptance with your daughters decision. There could be other factors at play in her head, stress, looking at the future, etc. 29 years later it is still bothers my wife but she forgave and never forgets. The father is still a tool though.
Could it be the ex wife driving this issue and not the daughter? Mothers at wedding time are demanding and pushy.
He might not be a great guy, but you decided the money was more important.
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(06-12-2021, 01:32 PM)dumbname Wrote: (06-12-2021, 08:37 AM)AlumneyeJ93 Wrote: A little story, opposite situation of yours, as I can first hand relate to your diliemma. My wife had her dad and stepdad walk her down the aisle. It was the resolution to being black mailed by her father, piece of crap. He wouldn't help pay for anything and even threatened to not have any of his family attend. During our wedding meeting with them both the piece of crap asked my wife if she was going to wear a white dress at the wedding. Her an I had been living in an apartment together. To this day I have never forgiven that SOB for saying that.
What kind of dad says that to his daughter. I wanted to come across the table and kick his ass for that.
The father was the adulterer and abandoned my wife, her mom and brother. Her step father has been nothing but outstanding and I even work for him to this day. (Son in law job). I think he deserved to be the only one to walk her down the aisle. Initially, she was just going to have her brother do it to avoid the stress and problems but she is the most forgiving person on the planet and went with the two dad system.
Could it be the ex wife is driving this issue and not the daughter?
I hope you can find peace or acceptance with your daughters decision. There could be other factors at play in her head, stress, looking at the future, etc. 29 years later it is still bothers my wife but she forgave and never forgets. The father is still a tool though.
Could it be the ex wife driving this issue and not the daughter? Mothers at wedding time are demanding and pushy.
He might not be a great guy, but you decided the money was more important.
Brilliant synopsis.
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I though spousal support was largely something that was in the past
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06-12-2021, 05:35 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-12-2021, 05:40 PM by dunefan.)
(06-12-2021, 09:23 AM)Beastdog Wrote: Appreciate all the inputs here, I really do. I bared my soul here a bit more than usual, which might come back to bite me later lol. But that's why it's called the Nuthouse. Will come back tomorrow with a full report.
Just kidding. Hope you can make peace with this.
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Before getting too emotional about a thing, I ask whether it really make a long term difference to me. Often, it really won't.
So, I mostly stay relaxed about various and sundry.
I'm against all over generalizations.
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(06-12-2021, 04:18 PM)Sanitarian2 Wrote: I though spousal support was largely something that was in the past
It's maybe a bit less common than it used to be, but it's still quite normal.
Generally decided based on one of the partners working their ass off in a 'real job' while the other stays home with the kids and does the domestic work.
I also think the state you are in plays a big role. Most of my experience with people who either pay or receive spousal support are in OR/WA, and the laws here really favor hammering the bread winner (usually the man, but not always)
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(06-13-2021, 09:15 AM)Syncro Wrote: (06-12-2021, 04:18 PM)Sanitarian2 Wrote: I though spousal support was largely something that was in the past
It's maybe a bit less common than it used to be, but it's still quite normal.
Generally decided based on one of the partners working their ass off in a 'real job' while the other stays home with the kids and does the domestic work.
I also think the state you are in plays a big role. Most of my experience with people who either pay or receive spousal support are in OR/WA, and the laws here really favor hammering the bread winner (usually the man, but not always) Any guy that's already made it financially needs to have his head examined if he gets married unless he's marrying up.
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Quote:Any guy that's already made it financially needs to have his head examined if he gets married unless he's marrying up.
B I N G O !
DC is a symptom, not the cause. The cause is basic voter stupidity and economic ignorance.
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"Don't, I say don't bother me dog, can't ya see I'm thinkin'?" Foghorn Leghorn
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(06-11-2021, 05:15 PM)Hightop77 Wrote: She is playing the hand she was dealt. She didn't ask for those complications to be brought into her life. Sure, it might hurt but it is what it is. I agree HT. Be humble and have both father's walk her down. It was not her fault her birth father divorced her mother. I am also assuming the step father is a good role model and has supported her also.
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(06-13-2021, 04:53 PM)Bonebuck Wrote: (06-11-2021, 05:15 PM)Hightop77 Wrote: She is playing the hand she was dealt. She didn't ask for those complications to be brought into her life. Sure, it might hurt but it is what it is. I agree HT. Be humble and have both father's walk her down. It was not her fault her birth father divorced her mother. I am also assuming the step father is a good role model and has supported her also.
You should read through the thread.  He didn†t simply divorce the mother.  She was cheating on him with this dude (step dad).
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(06-13-2021, 02:12 PM)3rdgensooner Wrote: (06-13-2021, 09:15 AM)Syncro Wrote: (06-12-2021, 04:18 PM)Sanitarian2 Wrote: I though spousal support was largely something that was in the past
It's maybe a bit less common than it used to be, but it's still quite normal.
Generally decided based on one of the partners working their ass off in a 'real job' while the other stays home with the kids and does the domestic work.
I also think the state you are in plays a big role. Most of my experience with people who either pay or receive spousal support are in OR/WA, and the laws here really favor hammering the bread winner (usually the man, but not always) Any guy that's already made it financially needs to have his head examined if he gets married unless he's marrying up.
Yes.
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