Stupid ways you have hurt yourself

[somenole]

Car door slammed on finger tips. Hard to believe I could do it to myself but I did. The alcohol wasnâ€t any help. Not any car door but a 77 Eldorado door. Possibly the biggest door ever made.

Ouch................... how difficult was it to reach the car handle to open the door with your other hand?

It was easy to reach but it didnâ€t help since the damage was already done. I was lucky I didnâ€t lose two of my fingertips but they were black and blue and useless for weeks.

[3rdgensooner]

Car door slammed on finger tips. Hard to believe I could do it to myself but I did. The alcohol wasnâ€t any help. Not any car door but a 77 Eldorado door. Possibly the biggest door ever made.

Ouch................... how difficult was it to reach the car handle to open the door with your other hand?

It was easy to reach but it didnâ€t help since the damage was already done. I was lucky I didnâ€t lose two of my fingertips but they were black and blue and useless for weeks.

I've seen some nasty and permanent damage from that kind of situation so you got off lucky especially with that car.

[dkeener67]

Car door slammed on finger tips. Hard to believe I could do it to myself but I did. The alcohol wasnâ€t any help. Not any car door but a 77 Eldorado door. Possibly the biggest door ever made.

Did this too.  January morning, got out and was not paying attention, was talking to my mom who was dropping me of, and I shut the door.  On my fingers.  It was a really cold day, so I didn't realize it till I couldn't pull my hand back.  So I pulled hard and pulled them out.  Cut my middle finger down to the first knuckle.  Doc stitched it up just fine, had a splint so I went around for weeks giving everyone the finger.

Did this last week. Toyota Sequioa door. Left index finger. Bled some , subungual hematoma. No big deal compared to a lot of stuff I could post here. having a high pain threshold has its problems.

[somenole]

Car door slammed on finger tips. Hard to believe I could do it to myself but I did. The alcohol wasnâ€t any help. Not any car door but a 77 Eldorado door. Possibly the biggest door ever made.

Ouch................... how difficult was it to reach the car handle to open the door with your other hand?

It was easy to reach but it didnâ€t help since the damage was already done. I was lucky I didnâ€t lose two of my fingertips but they were black and blue and useless for weeks.

I've seen some nasty and permanent damage from that kind of situation so you got off lucky especially with that car.

The alcohol contributed to the accident and possibly kept me from ripping my fingertips off. But, yeah, stupid luck is good.

[Bonebuck]

There was a swimming club out in Englewood/Northmont area that allowed you at age 18 to bring in your own alcohol. This was not your typical swimming pool but more a hand made sloping water depths. Kinda like a wave pool/water park type of thing.

So after about oh I dont know 8-12 beers, I am jumping in to take a dip. Do not recognize the water was only about 2.5 ft. I knew it wasn't deep but just not that shallow. I dive in and scrape my forehead/nose shoulders and belly and knees. I had blood running everywhere. Thanks to the alcohol it was not painful. Thanks to the alcohol it probably would have never happened.

[Soupcity Kid]

Man on this topic I could go on for days.  As a kid Evel Knievel was the thing.  We set up a ramp and rode down a hill to make the jump on our bicycles.  I went first and hit the ramp so fast I flew way further than anyone thought hitting a tree trunk.  I was taken for observation with a mild concussion.
Playing street kick ball was so focused on catching a ball hit over my head I ran into a telephone pole.  Had the tar marks on my  face.  Did nearly the exact same thing playing kick the can in the dark except I ran into a yard light that well was not lit.

A few years ago using a weed whip I was wondering why I seemed to not have so much power.  Left it running made some adjustments and heard the engine purr.  Just to make sure it was ready I gunned the trigger but I was so focused on the engine I forgot the head was shin level and I was wearing shorts.  Wow did that hurt.

my worse and now funniest was as a mid teenager.  I was getting ready for bed and had some loose underwear on and loose fitting pajamas.  I was tall enough where I was taller than the highest dresser drawer.  I was to meet a young lady at our hs basketball game the next day so I was being self conscious looking in the mirror when I noticed what might be a pimple.  I leaned into the dresser to get a closer look in the mirror but without realizing it my junk was hanging into the dresser drawer that was opened a few inches wide.  As I leaned in further I shut the dresser drawer with my hips with my junk hanging in it.  In intense pain and panic I tired to pull it out without opening the drawer which of course made it worse.  I opened the drawer to retrieve Mr. happy who was now Mr. Blue well Mr. Black and Blue to be precise.  I can't show my  mom that, that would be is humiliating!  I put ice on it but it hurt so damn bad.  The next day the young lady and I hooked up and after the game we started making out and Mr. Happy started to move and it hurt.  She reached for it and I told her we better stop but of course never said why.    This was a Friday night and when we returned to school on Monday everyone was like we heard she wanted to do some things with me but I was scared.  Dudes were making fun of me.  Girls were giggling at me.  It was sort of an American Pie type of moment.

[ScarletHayes]

Soup, have sort of a similar story but I was only 10.  I was shoveling the sidewalk and got the brilliant idea to put the handle of the shovel on my crotch and I would just walk, thereby pushing the shovel along and scooping up snow.  Saving myself from the work of shoveling in the traditional sense.  Ok, something I didn't factor into my thinking  --  Older sidewalks aren't always level.  Ahem!  Man I was moving along at a great pace and then...  BAM!  Ohhhhh boy did that hurt!  Yeeeaaaahhhh, there was some shredded skin down there and some blood as well.  O U C H.

[ChinaBuck]

Man on this topic I could go on for days.  As a kid Evel Knievel was the thing.  We set up a ramp and rode down a hill to make the jump on our bicycles.  I went first and hit the ramp so fast I flew way further than anyone thought hitting a tree trunk.  I was taken for observation with a mild concussion.
Playing street kick ball was so focused on catching a ball hit over my head I ran into a telephone pole.  Had the tar marks on my  face.  Did nearly the exact same thing playing kick the can in the dark except I ran into a yard light that well was not lit.

A few years ago using a weed whip I was wondering why I seemed to not have so much power.  Left it running made some adjustments and heard the engine purr.  Just to make sure it was ready I gunned the trigger but I was so focused on the engine I forgot the head was shin level and I was wearing shorts.  Wow did that hurt.

my worse and now funniest was as a mid teenager.  I was getting ready for bed and had some loose underwear on and loose fitting pajamas.  I was tall enough where I was taller than the highest dresser drawer.  I was to meet a young lady at our hs basketball game the next day so I was being self conscious looking in the mirror when I noticed what might be a pimple.  I leaned into the dresser to get a closer look in the mirror but without realizing it my junk was hanging into the dresser drawer that was opened a few inches wide.  As I leaned in further I shut the dresser drawer with my hips with my junk hanging in it.  In intense pain and panic I tired to pull it out without opening the drawer which of course made it worse.  I opened the drawer to retrieve Mr. happy who was now Mr. Blue well Mr. Black and Blue to be precise.  I can't show my  mom that, that would be is humiliating!  I put ice on it but it hurt so damn bad.  The next day the young lady and I hooked up and after the game we started making out and Mr. Happy started to move and it hurt.  She reached for it and I told her we better stop but of course never said why.    This was a Friday night and when we returned to school on Monday everyone was like we heard she wanted to do some things with me but I was scared.  Dudes were making fun of me.  Girls were giggling at me.  It was sort of an American Pie type of moment.

Every time a man tells a squashed balls story, every other man on the planet winces in empathetic pain. Other than riding my bike and taking the crossbar to the nads, I haven't had too much trouble in that area. However, about once or twice a year (I never learn) when pulling my belt through the first loop, and pulling the belt up too fast, I manage to knock the nads square on with the buckle of the belt. My wife has stopped being sympathetic, she now just shakes her head and walks out of the room. I sit down and attempt to pull myself together quietly in the corner.

[K9Buck]

A couple of years ago I got *****-faced and was stumbling through our family room at 2 AM, on my way to bed where my wife was sleeping. I fell into our TV and then I fell onto the floor and the TV fell on top of me! My wife came running out and turned on the light and exclaimed ¡Oh Dios mío! ¡¿Que pasó?! LOL! Fortunately, I broke the fall with my neck (movie quote). Best of all, the TV was just fine because it broke its fall on me. LOL!

[ChinaBuck]

My story from when I was 8 years old has a part 2. Two weeks after having given Mr Penis and Mr Balls a weathered wood scouring, my brother (yeah, him again) and I were now on another part of our property where there was an old shed than had collapsed. My brother says we shouldn't go here. Not having learned my lesson from the two weeks previous, I boldly went where no young man should go. Three steps into the pile of old wood I stepped hard on a small board with a very large jagged and rusty nail, and, of course, it not only went through the shoe, but all of the way through my foot and through the top of the shoe. My only proud moment here was that I had the presence of mind to not to pull my foot off the nail. I told my brother to go get Mom fast! Really fast! Mom drives the car through the field and gets me, this time she isn't laughing. With the board still nailed to my foot off we go to the ED. Again.

The ED has seen me so many times they all know my name. I could have gotten Frequent Flyer Miles. But this time the doc was pretty serious. Gave me a stern talking to. But later lightened up and told me that this was not the way to emulate Jesus.

[maize]

A couple of years ago I got *****-faced and was stumbling through our family room at 2 AM, on my way to bed where my wife was sleeping.  I fell into our TV and then I fell onto the floor and the TV fell on top of me!  My wife came running out and turned on the light and exclaimed ¡Oh Dios mío! ¡¿Que pasó?!  LOL!  Fortunately, I broke the fall with my neck (movie quote).  Best of all, the TV was just fine because it broke its fall on me.  LOL!

Okay, I deleted my story because it sounded stupid and read awful. 

St. Patty's Day, must have been 20... of course, alcohol played into this with everyone involved. Brother on brother fight, I'm a bystander. Of course, I'm friends with both. The front door gets broken from the fight so you can't get outside. The older brother breaks my phone after he calls his GF and she doesn't answer. Younger brother jumps off the balcony and leaves. I no longer feel safe. I decide to get over the railing and try to hang from the floor of the balcony so the drop is only a few feet, of course, that didn't work. 

Now on the 19th or 20th, I had to get my right leg checked for a meniscus tear. Now the balcony thing screwed up my left knee even more. Was really embarrassing trying to tell the Orthopedist why I was favoring my bad leg (the leg he was supposed to check out).

[K9Buck]

A couple of years ago I got *****-faced and was stumbling through our family room at 2 AM, on my way to bed where my wife was sleeping.  I fell into our TV and then I fell onto the floor and the TV fell on top of me!  My wife came running out and turned on the light and exclaimed ¡Oh Dios mío! ¡¿Que pasó?!  LOL!  Fortunately, I broke the fall with my neck (movie quote).  Best of all, the TV was just fine because it broke its fall on me.  LOL!

Okay, I deleted my story because it sounded stupid and read awful. 

St. Patty's Day, must have been 20... of course, alcohol played into this with everyone involved. Brother on brother fight, I'm a bystander. Of course, I'm friends with both. The front door gets broken from the fight so you can't get outside. The older brother breaks my phone after he calls his GF and she doesn't answer. Younger brother jumps off the balcony and leaves. I no longer feel safe. I decide to get over the railing and try to hang from the floor of the balcony so the drop is only a few feet, of course, that didn't work. 

Now on the 19th or 20th, I had to get my right leg checked for a meniscus tear. Now the balcony thing screwed up my left leg even more. Was really embarrassing trying to tell the Orthopedist why I was favoring my bad leg (the leg he was supposed to check out).

And now we know why women live longer than us.

[ChinaBuck]

A couple of years ago I got *****-faced and was stumbling through our family room at 2 AM, on my way to bed where my wife was sleeping.  I fell into our TV and then I fell onto the floor and the TV fell on top of me!  My wife came running out and turned on the light and exclaimed ¡Oh Dios mío! ¡¿Que pasó?!  LOL!  Fortunately, I broke the fall with my neck (movie quote).  Best of all, the TV was just fine because it broke its fall on me.  LOL!

Okay, I deleted my story because it sounded stupid and read awful. 

St. Patty's Day, must have been 20... of course, alcohol played into this with everyone involved. Brother on brother fight, I'm a bystander. Of course, I'm friends with both. The front door gets broken from the fight so you can't get outside. The older brother breaks my phone after he calls his GF and she doesn't answer. Younger brother jumps off the balcony and leaves. I no longer feel safe. I decide to get over the railing and try to hang from the floor of the balcony so the drop is only a few feet, of course, that didn't work. 

Now on the 19th or 20th, I had to get my right leg checked for a meniscus tear. Now the balcony thing screwed up my left knee even more. Was really embarrassing trying to tell the Orthopedist why I was favoring my bad leg (the leg he was supposed to check out).

Maize, I have a brother and I understand. Brothers can fight like two Grizzlies trying to establish dominance over each other and then 10 minutes later it's like nothing happened at all. Mom would come racing in asking what's going on, and we would be like, "oh nothing, just hanging out." But yeah, don't get in the middle of those fights, because it's then 2 on 1.

[dkeener67]

Dumbest thing?
Getting shot in the eye with a BB gun and getting a detached retina. But that's not the dumbest thing. The dumbest part was having my goggles in my back pocket. I had taken them off because they were fogging up. We had had probably 25 BB gun wars up to that point, and I never got hit once. So sure enough as soon as I take them off I get shot in the face,( which was a no-no). I ended up in the hospital, but fully recovered my sight in that eye.
Ironically, the guy who shot me ended up getting a front tooth shot out later that day. After all the war must go on.

[Alabuckeye]

Dumbest thing? 
Getting shot in the eye with a BB gun and getting a detached retina. But that's not the dumbest thing. The dumbest part was having my goggles in my back pocket. I had taken them off because they were fogging up. We had had probably 25 BB gun wars up to that point, and I never got hit once. So sure enough as soon as I take them off I get shot in the face,( which was a no-no). I ended up in the hospital, but fully recovered my sight in that eye. 
Ironically, the guy who shot me ended up getting a front tooth shot out later that day. After all the war must go on.

by the time my generation(10 years laterish...) came along, we'd wised up.  We only had dirt clod and apple wars.